Tempus Fugit: BrothersinLaw
by Kishiro Kitsune
Summary: AU. The Strife twins decide to raid Seifer's house when they hear some happy news regarding Cloud and Squall. But all poor Seifer wants is to have some time to himself.


**Tempus Fugit**

_Brothers-in-law_

Seifer was having a great day for the first time in many weeks. He was finally over his writers block and was able to finish his latest manuscript ahead of time, despite being late on his previous two deadlines. He had even completed the first chapter of his next book!

Yes, things were perfect in the life of novelist Seifer Almasy. So perfect, in fact, that he didn't think anything could _possibly _ruin his wonderful day. But of course, he was wrong.

He was sitting at his immaculately clean kitchen counter, sipping a cup of coffee while reading a postcard sent by his (and Squall's) adoptive parents, Headmaster Cid and beloved Matron--Edea Kramer--when his doorbell rang. He sighed and set aside his postcard and coffee cup before he got up to answer the door. When he saw who was on the other side, he almost slammed the door shut right in their faces.

"Hi, Seifer!" Sora chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet like the energetic ball of light and fluffiness he was. "We brought cookies!"

'_Damn them! They know my weakness!' _Seifer thought, opening the door wider to allow Sora, along with his twin brother Roxas, into the house.

"Wow! It looks even cleaner than the last time we were over! You must have that writer's problem thingy again!" Sora exclaimed, walking right past him into the living room. A few seconds later he could be heard saying, "Wooooow! You got a new fridge!"

Seifer just barely refrained from twitching.

"Good afternoon," Roxas greeted politely.

Seifer rolled his eyes. Roxas was never that polite to him unless he was up to something. "Just get the fuck in here, kid," he said.

Roxas smirked. He knew very well how to interpret the older man's words. That was his way of saying, "Don't you _dare _leave me alone in here with Sora."

It was almost funny. Seifer could deal with so many people with his couldn't-care-less and stay-the-fuck-out-of-my-way attitudes and not have a single problem, but being alone in a room with Sora was pure torture for him. Sora was the one person he could not insult or find something mean to say to. He reminded Seifer of a little puppy.

Roxas made a perfect buffer. Seifer could say whatever he wanted to the short blond without any problems whatsoever. And Roxas fought back, which made things interesting.

"So," Roxas said, leaning up against the doorway with a smirk. "How goes the writing?"

"Fine," Seifer said through gritted teeth. "Please. Come. In."

"Got anything new coming out?" Roxas asked. He wondered how long it would be before Seifer finally cracked and bodily dragged him into his house. His smirk grew broader when he heard Sora say, "Hey! Since when do you keep sea-salt ice cream in your freezer?"

'_Since cocky little blond bastards enjoy blackmailing me,' _Seifer thought, barely refraining from saying that out loud. "Roxas, get the fuck in here _now,_" he hissed instead.

Roxas yawned and haughtily examined his fingernails as if they were the most fascinating things in the world and Seifer was nothing more than a clod of dirt in his way. "No, I think I'll go take these cookies to Cloud and Squall instead. I'm sure _they'll _appreciate them."

Seifer reached out and grabbed the younger blond, finally dragging him into the house while muttering, "You're an ass."

"You break too easily," Roxas replied, handing over the cookies.

They walked through the living room and into the kitchen to find Sora innocently munching on a bar of sea-salt ice cream while sitting on the counter. He smiled when he saw them and held out one for Roxas, who was more than happy to take it.

Seifer grumbled and took his seat back at the counter, trying to ignore the fact that Sora's butt was on his immaculately clean counter and was right beside him. If only they hadn't brought delicious cookies with them! He drew one out of the bag and began nibbling on it.

'_Mmm… I love homemade cookies. One of these days I'm going to find out who makes these and get the recipe and then I'll never have to let them in my house again! Mwahaha!'_

"Hey, Seifer, are you alright? Your face looks all weird," Sora said.

Seifer wiped the look off of his face and polished off the cookie before reaching for another. Maybe if he didn't talk it would make Sora and Roxas leave sooner. All he really wanted to do was relax for a while and then go write a little more while he was still feeling inspired. Was that really too much to ask for?

"So how's your writing going?" Sora asked, completely oblivious to the fact that Seifer was trying his very best to ignore him. "Do you have a new book out yet? Hey! Is there a character like _me _in your next book? 'Cause that would be totally awesome!" He laughed as he waved his ice cream in the air, sending melted droplets flying off onto clean surfaces.

Seifer almost whimpered but remembered just in time that not only was he a tough guy but that it was also never a good idea to show weakness to either twin. Sora would latch onto you and make you spill your deepest, darkest secrets in a matter of minutes and Roxas would blackmail you until the world came to an end or you got something on him. (And since Roxas was like an iron wall, he could never get any dirt on him. Not to mention it was rare for Seifer to leave the house.)

"I just finished my latest manuscript," Seifer said. "And you'll have to wait and see whether or not there is a character like you." There. That was safe enough. When the time came and Sora pointed out a character he though was like him, all Seifer had to do was say "yes" and that'd be the end of that. Until the next book.

Sora beamed and went back to eating his ice cream, content for the moment.

Roxas, on the other hand, had only just begun to torment the green-eyed blond. He had a whole list of questions and remarks stored away in his brain ready for anything Seifer could say. It was for that reason alone that he enjoyed tagging along with Sora to visit him.

"So, have you heard about Squall and Cloud?" Roxas asked in a bored tone.

"What? Are they finally moving out of that shitty old apartment they've lived in forever?" Seifer asked, directing a glare at Roxas. He was not in the mood for mind games.

Roxas ignored the glare with a practiced ease that only came from living with the man for four years when he was growing up. Not to mention he had known him for many more years. In some ways Seifer was like another older brother to him.

"They love living there, so no, they're not moving," Roxas said. "It's something a little less drastic. For them at least."

"Cut the shit, Roxas. If they're getting a dog or a cat or a fucking _goldfish_, I'll--"

"That reminds me!" Sora suddenly exclaimed. "I forgot to feet Goldy this morning!"

Seifer's eye twitched. That was _exactly _why he hated dealing with Sora and Roxas. One of them would shout something completely random and make him forget what he was saying, while the other was a deviant little shit who enjoyed trying to drive him absolutely insane. Damn them!

"Sorry," Sora apologized. "What were you saying?"

Seifer at last saw an opportunity to get information out of one of them. "I was just asking about the news involving Squall and Cloud," he said.

"Oh, that," Sora said, waving a hand as if it was nothing. "Cloud finally got tired of Squall avoiding the subject like the plague and proposed to him himself. So they're getting married."

Seifer's mind went blank for a moment. "T-they're _**what**_?" he squeaked out.

Roxas smirked. "Yeah, that's right. They're getting married. So you know what _that_ means don't you?"

'_Oh Hyne no…' _

"We're going to be brother-in-laws!" Sora jubilantly yelled. "Isn't that great, Seifer? That means we'll get to see you more often! Oooo! We can have Family Night! Wouldn't that be awesome? We could play card games and board games and watch movies and go out to dinner and do all sorts of other stuff! Seifer? Hey, are you okay? You look really pale."

Seifer slumped over the counter in defeat. The day that plagued his darkest nightmares had come at last and it was worse than he thought. Soon he was going to be stuck with the two brats for the rest of his life. And there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

* * *

"I am going to fucking _kill_ you," Seifer growled into the phone.

There was a heavy sigh from the other end of the line. "Hello to you too, Seifer," Squall said, sounding tired. "Is there something you wanted or are you just calling to yell at me for Hyne knows what reason?"

"I got a visit from the twin demon children today. You'll never _guess _what they told me," Seifer said as he took his favorite seat at his counter, a glass of whiskey in one hand and the phone in the other.

"Would you care to save me the trouble of guessing and just tell me?" Squall asked. "I have something rather important to be going right now."

"You can get back to screwing Cloud once I'm finished talking," Seifer said crudely. The sputtering the statement elicited from Squall was enough to bring a pleased smirk to his face. He was feeling better about his day already. "Now explain to me why I had to find out from Sora and Roxas that Cloud is the one who wears the pants in your strange relationship because he's the one who had the guts to propose. Now really, Princess, where the hell is your dignity as a man?"

"Shut up," Squall half-heartedly replied. "And I was the one who told my dad and sister that we're engaged."

"Only because of the simple fact that _Cloud never talks._"

"Don't make me call up Sora and Roxas and tell them you want to have a sleepover."

Seifer shuddered. "Do it and I'll send fifty pizza's to your apartment," he threatened back. "I already had to sit through an hour and a half conversation on how much fun a 'family night' would be. And Roxas was no help."

"Sounds like you had an eventful day," Squall remarked. "Go get some sleep and call me in the morning. I want you to be my best man."

"Wait, what?" Seifer asked before he heard a 'click' followed by the dial tone. "Damn it, Squall! Just you _wait _until I get my hands on you! You're a dead man! You hear me? Dead!"

In his heart, Seifer couldn't help but feel honored that Squall wanted him as his best man. And although they drove him crazy a great portion of the time, the fact that Sora and Roxas considered him to be a part of their family made him happy.

All he had to do was figure out a way to keep Sora and Roxas from visiting on a weekly basis. Maybe moving to the country would work…

* * *

The End

* * *

This will probably be the last Tempus Fugit I write for a while. I want to concentrate on For Love and a few one-shots I'm working on. But who knows, I'll probably get inspired by something and write another one sooner than I thought.


End file.
